1. There’ll be a lot of traffic now- we want to be up there at 11 so we’ll leave at 7.30:
Ah yes,
Irish mothers love to plan their trips to ‘the big shmoke’ (Dublin). It will
ultimately end up with the whole family having to get up at some ungodly hour
to ‘beat the traffic’.
2. Well there’s no recession around here!
Another firm
favourite, Irish mothers love proclaiming about how there seems to be obvious
economic success in the country due to the large numbers of people shopping.
3. Be careful and mind your money-you know
what it’s like:
No shopping
trip is complete without ample warning of muggers and ‘the likes’ around. This will be followed by warnings to put your phone away in the shopping centre only to later receive three texts from your mother saying 'Ans your fone'.
4. I might pop into Marks and Spencers for a
while:
Ah-Marks
and Spencers, a haven for the typical Irish mother. Despite her cries of the
grocery shopping being too dear, Marks is her go-to call for clothes, and may
be the only place she visits in the shopping centre.
5. I must get a pair of trousers for your
father:
Whatever
time of year, my father seems to need a new pair of trousers. I don’t think my
father has ever bought trousers himself but he manages to have 12 pairs of the
same colour beige which mammy declares as being ‘lovely’. Bought in Marks and
Spencers, of course.
6. I got myself a lovely jacket:
She will
proudly show off this jacket at every occasion, but also over-contemplate
saying, “I dunno, I’m a bit iffy about it.” The best thing to do in this
situation is agree that it looks lovely on her, yes it’s very good value for
money and of course she can wear it to the wedding next year.
7. Dublin is grand for the day-but I wouldn't like to live here:
The Irish
mother will often pause for thought after the day’s shopping, usually in the
car as her husband curses the traffic going down the M7. On reflection, the
Irish mother will comment on how well she did with all her shopping today, how
she got ‘all her bits’ done and how even though Dublin might be grand for the
day, she wouldn't like to live there.